You Are Not Your Past

Leslie's Updated Photo

You are not your past.  This is your season to live and not hide behind your salty tears.  So often in life, you may hide behind hurt words or shameful acts that hinder your growth or spiritual walk.  In this season,  I believe that God’s calling you to operate on a higher level.  He’s calling me and you to live beyond hurt words, empty promises, or illusions that are holding me and you hostage as I’ve spoken about in my YouTube video below.

I vividly remember the first day I found out I was becoming a mom for the first time at sixteen.  My tears consumed me like raging water that broke free from a vulnerable dam.   My heart ached.  My throat became so enlarged as if I had swallowed an entire apple.  I felt numbed.  I couldn’t move.  I was young.  I was ashamed.

For the longest time, people talked about me.  My classmates, community members, and church members spoke negatively about my condition as if I was the first person ever to have a baby out of wedlock. Through all the negative talk, I distinctively recalled wanting to hear positive words of encouragement, but instead, I was left feeling ostracized.

As I continuously grow in my Christian walk today,  I often think of that difficult time in my life.  I think about the power of words…my words…my actions.  I  contemplate how those very words tarnished my heart, broke bonds and stripped me bare without ever touching me.

Daily, I think about the number of people that suffer from SHAME because they secretively live in the past.  Today, I understand the power of setting myself free. It’s refreshing not living the lies of others.  I won’t lie.  Freedom comes at a price, and sometimes that price is walking away from negative people who attempt to hold you “emotionally hostage” concerning your past.

Therefore, as you read these words, understand that God loves you so much because He is not a ‘respector of persons’. He validates His love to you daily.  He wants you to live a liberating life where you are no longer ashamed of who you are.  I did it and so can you.  How did I do it?  I started by implementing the following proactive strategies:

1.) I was honest with myself.

2.) I forgave myself.

3.) I learned how to love myself.

4.) I set healthy boundaries.

5.) I forgave those who hurt me.

6.) I live my truth.

7.) I pray daily.

8.) I laugh a lot.

9.) I meditate.

10.) I befriend positive people.

I hope these words minister to your heart.  Please share and comment. I always look forward to reading your replies. Or, if you like, drop me a personal message at shamenomore001@gmail.com.

You are not your past,

Leslie a/k/a ShameNoMore

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Your Miracle Is Right Around the Corner

Around the corner

When I woke up this morning, I started to meditate.  I heard the small voice of God speaking. It’s amazing how God’s presence can change our perspective and change our entire day.  Not to get too personal, but as I was preparing breakfast this morning, I felt the visitation of God.  It was very strong.

First, God wants us to “COMMAND” our mornings. Take time to pray, meditate, exercise, journal, or self-reflect.  These strategies can help “set” the temperament for our entire day.  Daily, it’s imperative that we honor God by carving out time to converse with Him. When we fail to command our mornings by honoring God, distractions from the enemy can seep into our spirit causing physical and spiritual disruptions.  When we pray, we’re equipping ourselves to withstand the blows of the enemy.  Get rooted in the word when driving to work, while drinking coffee, or while sitting in bed aimlessly.  Every moment that we invite God in, we willfully build a spiritual bridge that allows us to tap into God’s purpose for our lives.  His word daily is food to our souls and nourishment for our bodies.

Next, God doesn’t want us to compromise.  We must stand strong, and we cannot compromise our well-being in this season.  Stay focus; stay mentally healthy; stress-free, and guilt-free. I must be honest; I use to compromise myself for the sake of fitting in with others.  But as I continually grow in Christ, God reminds me to stand on His word as a guide for my life as noted in Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) where it is written that God has a plan for our lives.  It’s not to harm us, but these plans are to prosper us so that we’ll have hope as He guides and directs us into our future.  Therefore, we must stop compromising our peace.  Remember, God doesn’t function in dysfunction.  He’s a man of order. That’s why it’s important that we build a relationship with God and that we converse with Him daily as we “Command Our Mornings.”

Then, God wants us to trust HIM!!!  I believe that God’s building our FAITH in this season.  He’s building our faith with various test and trials.  Through these various test and trails, God is causing us to exercise our faith and depend totally on him.  For it is written in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV), “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” 

Finally, God’s working a miracle in our lives.  Let’s stay strong and not sway from God when situations start to look weary.  Remember, God is watching during the test; he’s just quiet as He conducts an evaluation of our hearts and reactions to see if we’re walking by “faith” or walking by “sight”.

Sincerely,

~ShameNoMore

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Working towards Happiness Continues: Principle #1Know What It Is

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Yes, be bold and strong!  Banish fear and doubts!  For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 TLB)

Good day Sisters Healing Against Mental Emotions™ (S.H.A.M.E.):

The air was brisk this morning as the sun was faintly kissing against my face.  Today, I felt a slight chill that was cool enough to send a sting down my back as if a wasp had begun a silent attack. So, I slipped on my hot pink sweater with one button as I headed towards the door.  I smiled at my youngest as we approached the car seeking restitution from the unsympathetic air, and then I thought to myself how I would refuse to allow the devil to camp in our territory today.  So, I prayed with my son equipping him with the word of God and reassuring him that the devil would not have victory over him in school today.  As his little eyes looked ahead meeting my eyes in the driver’s front mirror, I spoke with a subtle voice of reason directing him to seek God’s guidance before he spoke or wanted to play mindlessly in class.  I found myself saying…FOCUSING is essential today, so stay focus and give God your attention and all will be well.  Therefore, I hope that you guys are still FOCUSING on Principle #1: Know What Happiness Is as we continue to reflect on Nicole Saunders’ article “10 Keys To Happiness” over the next ten weeks.

First, happiness is what I make it to be.  I came to this notion this morning after receiving a knotty message from my child’s teacher concerning him stirring aimlessly yesterday and not focusing in class.  I smiled and stood their quietly as if I was a child being reprimanded for  the first time about behavior modification and how important it was for my six year old not to get off task even for a minute [he’s in kindergarten].  As a mom, I believe in the foundation of education and focus, so I spoke with him about his actions and informed him that we should not have another day like that one today.  Therefore, I equipped him and myself with the word of God.  I spoke life over my son this morning and decided to take action against the prince of darkness. According to Isaiah 57: 17 it states that “no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the LORD. (NIV)

Second, it takes FOCUS to be happy.  Just like my son’s misbehavior on yesterday, it takes focus to be in a happy place.  Hosea 4:6 affirms, “…my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.”(NIV)  Isn’t this so true?  If I were to think about this scripture just a little deeper, my mind instantly goes to the old saying, “If you fail to plan then you plan to fail.”  Focus is essential to living a happy, positive; yet self-fulfilled life because in order to FOCUS it takes concentration.  For example, I explained to my son that his actions caused a negative reaction in turn causing not only him to be placed in timeout in the carpool line, but it also caused me to receive a parent lecture on him not using his time wisely in class.  Therefore, I further clarified that without FOCUS, he could run the risk of falling behind in his studies and this minor action could have a major reaction to his future.  So, lesson learned for the both of us.

Finally, I believe that happiness is learning from our mistakes. I learned that life is too short to sweat the small stuff, and I believe my youngest learned that for every action there’s a reaction [be it good or bad].  As I continue my journey to learn what happiness is, I will overturn all rocks high and low in search of finding my happy place.  I will apply these words from Dale Carnegie as I eagerly approach every situation throughout my day when he states, “It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings”.

Find your happy place sisters and let’s discuss,

~Shamenomore

Let Go and Let God

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Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10 NASB)

Dear Sisters Healing Against Mental Emotions (S.H.A.M.E.):

Oftentimes as women, we participate in messy settings that result in messy situations.  We’ve all been there at one time or another where this very act of messiness turns into feelings of guilt and SHAME.  However, the issue is that holding on to guilt and SHAME can become the root causation of living life unfulfilling, which can lead to us feeling uncomfortable in our own skin.  As women of God, in order to live a healthy life daily, we must learn to Let Go and Let God Have His Way.

Holding on to our past or a messy situation out of guilt or SHAME is never of God because He’s a God of restoration and healing.  As we continue to develop our spiritual journey, we are continuously faced with various life challenges.  These encounters can prove to be detrimental to life or they can prove to be beneficial to life.  At any rate, these hindrances can present it’s foul existence in numerous entities such as: pretending like we’re happy in a failing marriage, enduring unhealthy friendships/relationships, repeating the generational curse of poverty, working continuously in a dysfunctional job environment, allowing alcohol/drug addictions to cause daily stressors [be it directly or indirectly], failing to recognize spiritual bondage, fostering the hidden spirit of envy/jealousy, participating secretly  in adulterous relationships, supporting the spirit of generational backwardness, or tolerating the generational curse of  robbing Peter to pay Paul just to name a few.  At any level, as Sisters Healing Against Mental Emotions ™(S.H.A.M.E.), we must stop these cycles from rearing it’s monstrous heads generations after generations in order to restore a positive level of normalcy within our lives.  According to Psalm 71:20, “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up” (NIV), which means that God can restore any dormant situation no matter how the circumstance(s) may look.

As sisters, we have a tendency to hold on to problems that disturb the very core of our inner peace. But as we continuously strengthen our relationship with God, it’s imperative that we learn the proverbial lesson early-on of Letting Go and Letting God Have His Way!  Remember ladies, God can’t bless messiness because He’s a God of order and restoration.  In other words ladies, living with guilt and allowing SHAMEFUL feelings to take control in our lives daily is toxic to everyone involved.  For example, it’s amazing how we will allow others to make us feel guilty because we no longer want to function in dysfunction causing us to feel a sense of guilt or SHAME like a ton of bricks weighing physically, mentally, or emotionally within our souls.  Therefore, in Psalm 55:22, God says “Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken” (NASB). So, what are we waiting for to cast our burdens unto Him?

In short, as we continue to grow in faith by Letting Go and Letting God Have His Way, we must remember that we can choose how we react to various situations in life through evoking prayer and supplication, or we can continuously repeat cycles of generational curses to no avail because we fail to Let Go and Let God Have His Way.