I’ve known you for quite some time. At one point, I even tried to befriend you. What’s crazy— is that I’ve felt how you’ve invaded my space. I’ve seen how you’ve hurt people close to me, and I’ve even inhaled the remnants of your scent that you’ve left lingering behind on numerous occasions. I’ve tried countless times to evict you, but oddly enough, you’ve crept through the smallest cracks buried deeply within the crevices of my bleeding heart.
I fondly remember the first time you cut me deeply. I was young, barely in my teens when you showed up making promises of befriending me…protecting me…and soothing me as a teen mom. For years, I’ve tried to escape the poisonous venom that your bite marks left behind, but just like a snake, you slithered your way back into my life with no regard for good will.
But then again, I thank God for a fresh wind, another chance to stand— a renewal of energy to fight and not suffer in silence or shame. No longer will the numbness, lustful sensation, or the overwhelming fear to doubt God’s purpose for my life abort my will to reposition myself firmly or reap the benefits that He’s spoken over my life. I know that God has destined greatness for my life. And as a worshiper, I must only believe.
I hope you can forgive me, but the time has come where I will no longer live in SHAME because of you. When I look in the mirror, all I see are the secret lies you’ve told me that you’ve whispered faintly in my ear. I’ve deleted those files titled “Lies”, and I’ve pressed the button that reads ‘Empty Recycle Bin’ too just in case I have the urge to retrieve you.
Goodbye and Good Riddance,
A Second Wind…ShameNoMore